11 inches

LORELAI: On the occasion of Luke´s and my wedding anniversary there will be a screening of our wedding video in the town square tonight. Tell all your friends!


MISS PATTY: So, today is the big day Lorelai? I bet the night will be big too!
LORELAI: Absolutely, huge even!


LANE: Happy anniversary Lorelai. Luke went to buy some stuff for tonight.
LORELAI: Yeah, I know. I just wanted to ask if you can tell all customers about the video screening?


BRIAN: I can´t wait to see her naked.
ZACH: She said wedding video, not honeymoon video. You´re so stupid.

Later that morning...


LORELAI: Hey kids, how do you like the idea to spend some time with uncle Michel tonight? Mommy and Daddy are having their wedding anniversary and need some time alone.


LUKE JR: Cool!
LORELAI JR: Maybe you can finally work on that little sister or brother we´re waiting for!


MICHEL: I don´t want to watch your brats, they are annoying!
LORELAI: Oh please, we already had that discussion many times. You know how bad my mood is when I didn´t get sex with Luke, right?
MICHEL: Fine, I´ll do it.

Early afternoon...


LORELAI: Ok Dean, here´s the money for your job as the projectionist tonight.


DEAN: I have one additional stipulation. I want to participate in your private "celebration" tonight.


LORELAI: Haha, good joke. Rory told me that you were not exactly a master in bed when the two of you were together.


DEAN: Well, then I can´t help you. And I´ll keep the video you already gave me too.


LORELAI (thinking): Damn, that was the only copy. Why can´t I keep my mouth shut?

Later that afternoon...


LORELAI: Hey Honey! Are you and big Luke down there ready for some action tonight?


LUKE: I still have some errands to run and meet you in an hour outside, okay? And please don´t always call [I]him [/I] like that in public.
LORELAI: Oh come on, those eleven inches fairly deserve that nickname!
RORY (thinking): Eleven inches, is this physically possible? Maybe that´s the reason for my lousy love life.


LUKE: Okay, if you put it that way...


RORY (thinking): Keep eye contact, Rory. I´m not looking down there, I´m not looking down there...god, this is so hard.

1 hour later...


LUKE: Ok, I bought all the stuff for our private "celebration" after the screening. I got the cigarettes for afterwards. They didn´t have the handcuffs you wanted, so I just bought some solid rope. That will do the trick too, I think.


LORELAI: That´s great. Unfortunately there will be no screening, Dean has kidnapped our wedding video.
LUKE: I always knew that guy was trouble!


LUKE: Do you want me to beat him up? I could easily do this!
LORELAI (thinking): He´s so sexy when he´s angry at Dean. I don´t think I can wait till tonight, I want him now.


LORELAI: Stop thinking about Dean and kiss me!
LUKE: I can do that too...

Several minutes later...


MICHEL (thinking): God, do they have to do this in public? Don´t they have a bed? It´s so disgusting...and enviable. Luke is wearing nice boxers though. Oh, [I]was [/I] wearing nice boxers.


EMILY: Oh my god, there are my daughter and my son-in-law! Someone stop them!
RORY: Those are nice boxers...

Early evening...


LORELAI: So, what do you think? Isn´t this a nice substitute for our screening tonight?
RORY: I can´t believe Michel filmed this. The boxers are nice though.


RORY: Oh my god! Eleven inches, Mom was not kidding!