Tree Sex

Lane: Guess what! This morning I wanted to tell Luke that the delivery guy is waiting for him and I walked into his apartment when he just came from the shower, naked. Let me tell you: it´s true what they say that the size of the hands is a good clue for other things.


Lorelai and Rory (thinking): Why do the good things always happen to Lane and not me?


Lorelai: It was my destiny to walk in on naked Luke. I´ve been waiting for that to happen forever.
Rory: Really?


Lorelai: Yes, really. I had a dream last night that I grabbed his big...hands and just had my way with him.


Rory: Now I´m not hungry anymore.


Rory: Instead of telling me things I never wanted to know about you, you should try to get together with Luke.

The next day...


Rory: Now take that phone and call Luke. I can´t stand another repeat of your latest dirty dream about him.
Lorelai: But you have to help me what I should say.


Lorelai: Hi Luke..I just..wanted..to...to
Rory: Tell him you think he´s hot and ask if he wants you to come over and demonstrate him the dirty dreams you had about him.
Lorelai: I think you are hot, Luke. Can I come over and demonstrate you the dirty dreams I had about you?


Lorelai: Ok, I´ll be there in 20 minutes. Yes, I´m sure we´ll find some time for your dirty dreams about me too.


Rory: I´m so proud you finally did it. Now let me pick out some hot clothes for you. Do you think Luke would like a sexy secretary outfit?

20 minutes later...


Lorelai: Ok, you and me upstairs, now!
Luke: Wait a minute downstairs, I only have to put on other clothes and throw out Jess.


Luke: Lorelai wants to demonstrate me her dirty dreams. When I´m coming out of the bathroom you´ll be gone! Otherwise I´ll have to break every bone in your body.
Jess: Whatever Uncle Luke.

Another 20 minutes later...


Luke: I have needs that want to be satisfied too. Don´t you understand that?


Jess: You can borrow my Playboy. Bathroom, second drawer.

And another 20 minutes later...


Lorelai: Jess is so mean. Where do we go now? With Rory being home my house isn´t a solution either.


Lorelai: Wait! Do you think what I think?


Luke: Yeah, I´d say that tree is big enough to shield us from curious onlookers.

3 hours later...


Lane: So Lorelai, it looks as if you had an interesting afternoon, didn´t you?


Lorelai: Me? I..I don´t know what you are talking about, Lane.


Lane: Well, here´s a little something to refresh your memory.
Rory (thinking): Niiice, finally I´m seeing naked Luke too!